Theres a lot of talk about the deconstructing of faith. It’s not a new concept though and it doesn’t have to be something that should be feared. I’ve been deconstructing and reconstructing my own faith since my college years. When you grow up being preached to or taught that Christianity is a certain way, you can either continue on that path or dig in and find out what you believe on your own. Here’s my own example. 

Growing up in an independent baptist church I was never taught about the goodness of God’s grace. I was taught a lot of things for sure, but I didn’t learn anything about His Grace. I learned that curse words are bad. And not going to church twice on Sunday and on Wednesday nights makes you less of a Christian. Rock music is evil (bc the drum beats are from the devil). Of course, I learned that alcohol is bad. (We always skipped the verses about how God created wine to gladden the hearts of men. And when we read about Jesus turning water into wine, it was always emphasized that it wasn’t real wine. Um, ok. )

And of course I was taught that sex before marriage is wrong. Even two piece bathing suits for women were bad during the youth group summer camp. Tattoos were bad. Gambling? Bad. Wearing jeans to church is really bad. Unless it’s a weekday. Weekday jeans at church are ok. Just not on Sunday. Wearing a hat during prayer is bad also. There’s definitely more but I will give it a rest for now. When you grow up with a list of things a good Christian can’t do and things they have to do, the message of the Gospel gets lost. 

And I get it, it’s hard to teach about God’s grace. It’s easy to teach about the law. Church leaders are afraid if they teach too much about grace, Christians will just go through life fulfilling whatever desire they have. But Gods grace is bigger and more beautiful than any list of dos and don’ts. Gods grace teaches us that our salvation isn’t up to us. If my salvation is depending on things I did or didn’t do, then Jesus’ death was for nothing. I am a fallen man when I take into account my list of sins in my life. I cannot do it alone. I fail on my own each and every time. But when I take into account how great God’s grace is then the pressure to be a perfect Christian isn’t on me. You see, I truly know how great God is because I know how much of a failure I am. If God’s grace can cover all of my sin, then I know it has to be huge and awe inspiring. And from a place of gratitude and love comes how I live my life and how I treat others. Any ‘good’ things I do are not on my own accord, but out of love and appreciation of how great He is. 

I love the quote from Brennan Manning, “It remains a startling story to those who never understand that the men and women who are truly filled with light are those who have gazed deeply into the darkness of their imperfect existence.” You see, I want to live a life that pleases Him because I know the depths of my own darkness and I know that the light of His grace covers it all.