I feel like I’m part of a special club. It’s a club that only a few of my friends are a part of. None of us want to be in the club because membership has no advantages. I joined the club a year ago when my mom passed away.

I never thought I would lose my mom this early in life. I often pictured her growing old into her 70s and 80s. I pictured her developing a relationship with her granddaughter as I have developed a close relationship with my own grandmother. I thought about big family vacations and holidays with her enjoying her grandchildren. But that’s not how things turned out.

The last year has been difficult. Yep, difficult is really an understatement. I cannot count how many times I have cried quietly to myself (something I am doing now as I type this). I sometimes get jealous that my wife still has her parents. But I am also thankful that they are around. They have been a pillar of support for my family.

The grief is something that really doesn’t go away. A year after Mom’s passing you just learn to expect it to show up when ever it wants. Grief will just wait around quietly and pop up with out a warning. It will remain with me because her memory is with me. And that’s ok.

I decided to take off this Monday to remember mom and spend time with my family. If there is one thing I have learned through all of this it’s that we devote too much time to things that are not that important. The people around me are important. The love we share is important. My relationship with God is important. Everything else will work itself out.

Love you mom.